Um... stating the bleeding obvious?

This had me guffawing loudly. Probably made the passengers wonder if I'd completely lost the plot, but what the hell :)

If you're the driver of it, yep, I was the guy with the flashing camera at the lights, in the bus ;) Thanks for giving me a much needed belly-laugh :)

PS - it's me birthday today :) Happy Birthday to me :) I'm on (for the first time in what, six years on the buses, is it?) two days off over my Birthday, so whoopee :) No work tonight!! OK, so I had to work last night, into my Birthday, so there's one of the reasons for the much-needed belly laugh above :)

PPS - this is an anniversary posting in more ways than one - I just noticed that this is the Hundredth Blant on here :)

Megablant: Pink, Pedicabs, and Parking....

First off, one for my better half :) Who, oddly enough, has an apparent fixation for the colour Hot Pink ;)

This one's for you :)

Enjoy :)

Next up... pedicabs... one of the current plagues on Central Londons' Streets...

These are pedicabs. Note there are no licence plates, registration numbers, or even mirrors. They're also blocking the road.

This is typical behaviour for these immigrant machines from the Orient, and frankly such behaviour is a right pain. Additionally, the Riders apparently have no need of any for of drivers' licence, and from what I've heard, do not even have to undergo a Criminal Record Background (CRB) check.

For those of us who (1) have worked hard to earn their Driving Licences, (2) are REQUIRED to follow the rules of the road, (3) have to undergo CRB checks to get our licences, and (4) get prosecuted if we park like those pedicabs, it's a complete and total insult.

Hells bells, estimates by Westminster Council even put the numbers of these things that have been illegally modified (illegally modified meaning that a battery-powered motor is installed to add speed, making it a POWERED road-going machine, or electo-car, in other words) at close to 80 percent of the total number on the streets. Add to this that the multi-seat bikes they use have no requirement for any form of regular MoT inspection in order to remain on the road, or even to show fitness for purpose, and you begin to see the scale of the problem. Something MUST be done to keep the public safe from these maniacs, who weave in and out of traffic - regularly - WITH passengers on board, with no form of protection for their paying customers - not even cycle helmets.

And TfL are apparently doing NOTHING?! Yes, there was a consultation exercise on this - in 2006 - THREE YEARS AGO.

There are regular rumours of these maniacs being eventually licenced, but after well over three years of these potential death traps being on Central London's roads, there's no concrete sign that the Authorities are actually doing something about it, and that's a bloody disgrace.

There's more on this that I could add, but I'm gonna keep this Blant printable.

Next up... Parking. Specifically, illegal parking.

This is Haymarket, in Central London, looking south. Forget that it's a bus lane, for a moment. Look as the road markings, and the TRAFFIC LIGHTS.

The Mincabs are always parking here, and it's bloody dangerous, to say the very least, as they force us to move into the right hand lanes smack dab after a blind right-angle corner from Piccadilly.

It is illegal to park on top of traffic light junctions, and the Highway Code makes this abundantly clear - Rule 250 applies...

250

Cars, goods vehicles not exceeding 1525 kg unladen weight, invalid carriages, motorcycles and pedal cycles may be parked without lights on a road (or lay-by) with a speed limit of 30 mph (48 km/h) or less if they are

* at least 10 metres (32 feet) away from any junction, close to the kerb and facing in the direction of the traffic flow
* in a recognised parking place or lay-by

Other vehicles and trailers, and all vehicles with projecting loads, MUST NOT be left on a road at night without lights.

[Laws RVLR reg 24 & CUR reg 82(7)]

The operative note here is TEN METRES. That's roughly thirty (30) or so feet. Look at that photo and tell me truthfully - does that look EVEN CLOSE to thirty feet?

Of course not.

Westminster and the Police have the right to uplift and impound offending vehicles, after all, and it's a nifty source of revenue for them. So, with all the above in mind, is it not about time that this was enforced?

Final note (In Pink, for my better half ;)). All photos were taken while halted in stationary traffic, with the Service Brake ("handbrake") applied.

Probably the best one yet...?

Seen outside a Baptist (I think) church on one of our night bus routes last night. Apologies for lopping off the bottom of the poster, the bush (not a burning one, lol) got in the way!)

It says, in full:
"There is probably no bus....
So why not come in and enjoy God?"

Nice comeback on the original the Atheist version, I think - ten out of ten to them for the riposte ;-)

Silent Callers...

OK, rant time.

For the past five days (Sunday excepted), I've been woken from my slumber by some anonymous muppit (and that's the polite version) on an unavailable number (means it's a foreign caller according to BT), who persists on letting the phone ring until the answerphone picks up the call, and then hanging up.

I was woken THREE SODDING TIMES today by this (insert your insult of choice here).

Enough is more than enough. Because of this (insert your insult of choice here), doing my shift tonight's gonna be challenging as hell, to say the least.

Frankly, this is completely unacceptable, outrageous, and irresponsible. It's also bloody rude to boot (It's called silent calling - link here). And yes, I registered with the Telephone Preference Service over six months ago to block marketing calls.

Now, while there is no specific law against it per se, the Communications Act 2003 states:

127 Improper use of public electronic communications network

(1) A person is guilty of an offence if he—

(a) sends by means of a public electronic communications network a message or other matter that is grossly offensive or of an indecent, obscene or menacing character; or

(b) causes any such message or matter to be so sent.

(2) A person is guilty of an offence if, for the purpose of causing annoyance, inconvenience or needless anxiety to another, he—

(a) sends by means of a public electronic communications network, a message that he knows to be false,

(b) causes such a message to be sent; or

(c) persistently makes use of a public electronic communications network.

(3) A person guilty of an offence under this section shall be liable, on summary conviction, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding six months or to a fine not exceeding level 5 on the standard scale, or to both.

(4) Subsections (1) and (2) do not apply to anything done in the course of providing a programme service (within the meaning of the Broadcasting Act 1990 (c. 42)).

This has a loophole. It's called Foreign Call Centres, who are generally not subject to English Law.

BUT.

If the call centre makes the call on behalf of a UK entity, be that a retailer, person, or whatever, then an offence has been committed by that entity under s. 127(2)(b) CA 2003.

So, whoever the hell you are, be warned.

I'll have you.

And if you're really, really REALLY lucky, silent caller, I won't stuff your curly corded phone somewhere that even your proctologist won't be able to reach

Neat logo :) Made me smile :)

OK, as company logos go, this one's rather natty :) I like it. It's simple, to the point, and rather imaginative.

It also got me grinning, imagining how Tower Bridge might look if it actually WAS made from Tetra Paks...

*cough - splutter choke* How much?!?!?!

OK... next to one of the bus stands we use on one of the night bus routes we run from my depot, there is a branch of a fairly well-known chain of sandwich - well, long roll, anyhow - retailers.

It regularly supplies our many day shift drivers with their lunch, and coffee for those of us night drivers lucky enough to get there before it closes.

It also does cut price 'meal deals' for students, as evidenced by the photo to the left.

At a cost of Three Hundred And Forty Nine Quid for a bleedin' sandwich?!?!?! (OK, now I'm bug of eye and splutter of cough or something)...

Ahem.

Sorry, my mistake.

That one's obviously for the lottery winners amongst us.

In all seriousness, I actually realise that someone, somehow, forgot to put the decimal point there not once, but twice ;)

If not, as the Carlsberg misquote goes, "Probably the most expensive sub roll out there"

"It never rains but it pours"...

Fate has a funny sense of humour at times.

I was a third the way through my shift last night, having done one round, chomped my lunch, and done another round, when I got to the bus stand at the south London end of one of the two night bus routes we do. As usual, I did a quick walk inside the bus, in case there was someone who'd fallen asleep, and yup, two sleepers. one, a friendly young lady who woke up promptly on my yell of "wakey wakey, end of the route!", went downstairs immediately.

The other didn't respond at all.

He was alive, I knew that, his chest was rising and falling as he breathed. The snoring was a bit of a give-away too, truth be told, but would the pilly sillock wake up, or even show signs of being awake? Nope. OK, time for a code red and the boys in blue, then.

This at around quarter to four in the morning, of course.

In between getting from sleeping ugliness upstairs, to the radio, I found the young lady to be still on the bus. "I missed my stop" she said, stating the rather obvious, and gave a point roughly half-way along the route that she wanted. "I've got a pass-" she showed me a printed travelcard, still valid - "and really wanna go home. When are you going to go back?"

I apologised for what I was about to tell her, and pointed out the problem of the sleeping lad upstairs, and what I had to do (call the Old Bill), and she muttered "that bloody-" something I didn't catch, probably just as well, lol, and settled down in a resigned kind of way. You can please some of the folks some of the time, etcetera... I got on the radio to Centrecomm, and let the know what was occurring. They said they're send the boys in blue immediately for me.

Cut to half an hour late, still no sign of the Met., and my following bus has arrived. Amber, who was now mildly awake and chatting to stay awake, asked if she could get the other bus when it left, if we were still waiting for the Police. No problem there, I made sure the other driver was aware, and she got on that bus when it left, and away she went, to get home, have a half hour of sleep, and get up again for her flight back to Australia. Hope you had a good one, Amber, and say "Hi" to Melbourne for me :)

Anyway, the buzz-saw upstairs was still on board, and I called Centrecomm again, asking for an update. They told me that I'd beaten them to the call, was the guy still on board, as the Met wanted to know, in case they didn't have to turn up. Nothing they like less than a sleeper on a bus. Wastes their time when they could be dealing with more serious stuff. Personally, I couldn't agree more, but if I shove the fool to wake him up, it's assault. If they shove him to wake him up, it's justified. Go figure. Yep, I told them, still on board.

Another half hour later the Met finally arrived, looking mightily heaved off. Bless. Two yells a shove and a bellow later they got him standing up. Definitely reluctant to move from his nice comfy (Comfy? a bus seat by the stairs with no neck support? Strewth!) place, he was given more encouragement by the Met: Two more yells and a bellow of "Don't try to have a fight with us, you'll lose" and they got him off and walking away from the bus. Sorted! I started the bus up, preparing to get way from the buzz-saw.

Or rather, I tried.

Kerchunk. The starter failed to engage, and all the lights on the dashboard went out.

Oh, bugger. Flat battery. Oops.

The radio was knackered now there was no power, so I used my phone and called the iBus desk (company Radio Controller), and gave him the news.

He was less than pleased, of course. I'd already lost a half round to the buzz-saw, and now it looked like the entire round was gonna be lost. He was NOT a happy teddy bear, in any shape or form. Neither was the engineer tasked with coming all the way out to the stand to give the bus a booster start. Tough. Not like I could push start the damn thing, was it? And yeah, I lost pretty much the entire round. Oh well. Sods law had hit with all the fury of a drunken squirrel, and that was that.

When I finally called Centrecomm to give then the clearance call, what did the bloke up there say?

Yup. You guessed it:

"Never rains bus it pours, does it?"

Bloody tell me about it!