Suicide Jockies with and without umbrellas!

OK, today I was going to blather on about White Van Man and his lack of road manners, but he was pipped to the punch by a bunch of Suicide Jockies...

Suicide Jockies are pedal cyclists. they've earnet this nickname because of the blatendly suicidal way they go about getting from a to b to c and so on. They'll dive in and out of traffic without so much as a sideways, let alone backwards glance, and presumably trust in God to protect them from going under the wheels of whatever it is that they've just cut in front of. Like I said. Suicide Jockies.

The one this morning, however, was a cut (ahem. I mean Carve) above the average for suicidal intent. It's raining heavily, (I do mean heavily here, folks: It was heaving down cats, dogs, bannisters, the entire stairwell, and then some for the majority of the rush hour this morning), and there I am, on the bus stand at one end of the route, and this moron from hell on two wheels pedals up between two buses, one hand holding the grip of the left handlebar, the other holding a bleeding umbrella! I had to blink and look again to be certain that my eyes weren't deceiving me, I kid you not. He then does a weaving left turn onto the main road without even looking to see if there was anything coming - there was, and they all managed to avoid him, or he'd be a pavement burger.

Later on, there was a cyclist with a very basic bike - pedals, no gears, and no brakes fitted either - needless to say, she was smack dab in the centre (weaving away merrily left to right and back again) of the northbound A20 (Old Kent Road) when encountered, and could any of the five buses she was holding down to 10 miles per hour get past her? No chance.

So here's the argument point... Cyclists insist they have a right to use the road. We, the drivers, have to take a test to receive a licence to drive on the roads, and we do not have any right to use the road, as our licences can be taken off us by a court if we stuff things up. Cyclists, on the other hand, need no licence, and about the only thing they can be nicked for is "furious cycling", whatever the hell that is.

So here're the questions: WHY do cyclists NOT have to take a DVLA/DSA-approved test before being let loose on the roads, and why on earth can their cycles not require an annual MOT-approved test before they become so delapidated that they fall apart when in the rain (I've seen this happen!)? More to the point, when the hell will someone MAKE then wear some form of numberplate, so that Police can be involved when they cause a major shunt, and cycle off never to be seen again?

Anyone know?