Friday, 11 June 2010

A fortnights leave in 3 hours, and counting...

So, here I am, just having had a very nice fish & chips dinner in the canteen at the western end of the route, ruminating on the latest twit to be illuminated on my FRIDAR (Flamin' Rabid Idiot raDAR)...

I was pulling into a recessed bus stop (that's a bus stop that is cut into the kerbside to help traffic get past when a bus is serving the stop), in thick traffic, when this git - not even the driver, he was a passenger in the car - takes exception to the fact that I'm trying to pull into the stop: He seemed to take exception to my pulling in to serve the stop by passing him mate on the inside (safely, all four wheels on the tarmac, no less), and took it upon himself to lean out the window to threaten to punch my lights out, the moron.

OK, so I was relatively close to his mates' car (maybe six inches off his rear quarter at the closest point for a couple of seconds), but then we're trained to thread the needle somewhat in this game, and do so pretty darn well, truth be told; and yes, I was going dead slow and passing the car on the inside (there was loads of room) in order to do the job, and yes, I managed to successfully get onto the stop without touching his mates' car, so I failed to see the problem. I tried to explain this to Mr. Excitable, but he wasn't having it, and yelled that he was a professional boxer and that he'd punch my lights out. So I told him: "Sonny, bigger and harder and MUCH nastier folks have told me that they'll do much worse to me, and I'm still here. Besides, hit me, and you loose your licence. Have a nice day." I then shut my window, and let on passengers who by this time were laughing hard. When I turned my attention back to the road a minute or so later, chummy was gone, probably in a puff of petulance.

And that's the kind of crap I'll not miss for my two weeks of leave starting in less that three hours from now...!

...An hour and a half or so later...

To balance the shift with amusement, I later got a lad running hard to catch the bus, who asked me to hang on for his girlfriend to catch up. I told him "No hurry, I'm early, and killing a minute or so here". He still leans out the door and yells "HURRY UP!" to the poor lass who was tottering along as quickly as she could in her high heels, then turns round to me and says all conspiratorially, like, "I like yelling it to her, she looks funny running".

So, picture the scene, she's finally got to the bus, I'm trying hard not to laugh at her boyfriends comment, and she's almost out of breath, and noticed that I'm red of face and failing to hold in my laughs.

So she does what any young lady would do in those circumstances. Realises boyfriend has said something he ought not have said. "OK, what did he say THIS time, mate?" I claimed the Fifth, citing that in wanted to remain intact. Naturally, I got a withering look from her, and she stomped after the lad, yelling for all to hear "OK laughing boy, what the hell did you say to crack up the driver THIS time, EH?!"

Good grief, I savour this job sometimes

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